Ladyoftheapp: Suddenly, you transform in to a beautiful sexy woman and have to walk around as that for a while. If you already are female, you transform in to a sentient glowing cloud who communicates via telepathy. Sorry.
Ask Reboot Turbo: You're devastatingly handsome but you have one major problem - you keep losing body parts. I mean as in you do something simple like picking up your coffee cup and your arm falls off. Whoops! At least you can reattach your body parts no problem.
Getoffmyroad: You are hungry for everything and weird sorts of everything too. Anything weirder than fish sticks and custard counts.
Turbotwopointoh: You're hyped up on caffeine all the time and you can't seem to get enough of it. You're always demanding a caffeinated goody from someone and you're very hyper. With all the energy you're getting from your uncontrollable desire for caffeine, you can power half of Australia for a month!
Shadowbirdsitu: You can sprout wings and fly! Certainly not like the average guy! You also have this incredible urge to prank everyone who enters your inbox. Sorry and not sorry!
Muramaku: YOU CAN BLOW STUFF UP WITH YOUR BRAIN BUT YOU LACK ANY SORT OF INDOOR VOICE. YOUR OUTDOOR VOICE IS EVEN LOUDER. CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
Oneofmanyreapers: Sadly, you're dead and a ghost. You were at your own funeral this afternoon. But there's one weird quirk - you have unspecified unfinished business. Which means you're stuck on Earth with your brand spanking new ghost powers (RE: floating, walking through walls, aports, affecting electrical equipment). People can still see and hear you.
Speedywifi: You have a sudden urge to go clothes shopping! Grab your hard earned moolah and hit the malls. Specifically, you're looking for clothes that are opposite to your gender because it's fun. GO AND HAVE YOUR FUN. I will wait.
Viralpensiveness: Just like any Eldritch abomination, you have sprouted semi-sentient tentacles. They're somewhat prone to misbehaving, so you always need to keep your 27 wiggly new friends in check. Also, you're very book smart.
Assistant-Kazuko: My! Aren't you adorable? You and your need to help the next person in your inbox! Sooo cute! That's right, you have to help that person with everything including finding that dreaded missing remote. Have fun with that!
WindGuardian: Love Homestuck? Always wished you were a Homestuckian troll? Now is your big chance! You become a troll for a little while! Try not to die and get your blood on everything. And avoid any paint factories.
Gigabitturbo: You have this irresistible urge to tell puns! You have to respond to everyone in the form of a pun and annoy your friends and family! Good luck with that!
Tudykturbo: You're stupidly drunk all the time. You've forgotten what it's like to be sober! You can't even remember the first drink you had today! And bonus, you still want more booze. Anyways, you know that hangover is going to be a killer!
TonelessTurbo: You can sing! And you want to show it off to the WORLD. So you have to respond to everyone in song lyrics. You little show off!
Thespianofcornerstone: Ohhh put that thing back where it came from or so help me~! Guess what? You're writing a play where you're the star! You are always babbling about your big plot (which is excitingly outrageous and gets more outrageous the more you talk about it) and telling the people in your inbox how they would be the perfect Tree #4, or Coffee Drinking Man, or something equally as mundane or silly.
Vikingwithoutastory: You are a big badass dragon now. Yes, you're a dragon. Now find some thatched roof cottages to crash in to while you're at it!
Turbogobstopper: You've turned in to a 9 year old kid and you're super short! Like you can't even reach the "good" magazines off the top rack now! That sucks! Well, might as well make the best of it, right?
Theheroofcornerstone: You have electricity powers just like Static Shock or Electro or someone. But you just can't stand water at all. I mean literally. You stand in it and you risk electrocuting yourself. Good luck with that one!
Junkieturbo: You are a risk taker and will do anything to get that rush of adrenaline! Taking up the most extreme of extreme sports? No problem! Wrestling a polar bear? SIGN ME UP. You just want that adrenaline fix so damned bad and you're willing to do anything to get it.
Justabombshellblonde: You have a shipping wall! Yay! But you insist on putting everyone you interact with on it in the weirdest possible pairings you can come up with. You're always babbling on about them and it always comes up. You're just a step away from fanfiction point. I'll let you fantasize about your favourite pairings.
Sugar-rush-z: You're a teenager again! Isn't that lovely? I bet you can't wait to get your driver's licence all over again! But if you're already a teenager, you change in to a truck. A truck that transforms in to a giant fighting robot. You're welcome.
Ask-heartbreaker-felix: You think you're super handsome. So handsome, in fact, that you think you can get any girl or boy you want. But there's one tiny flaw to your grand plan - you suck at pickup lines. For everyone who shows up in your ask box, you must offer them a terrible pick up line. No exceptions.
Cabin-turbo: You are now completely and entirely hairless just like a Sphinx cat! Awww! And you're always up beat and positive about nearly everything. Even things you're not normally positive about! Enjoy your happy (and hairless) life!